Funny stories from the past

I wrote this several years ago when I was still an university student. Although I would never write stuff like this again, it still made me laugh when I discovered it today. Hope you also enjoy it.

O, and by the way, this really is a true story!

I always kind of knew it would happen. She always gets everything she wants, that spoiled brat. It’s not as if I like the guy, no, not at all, but it’s just that I didn’t want her to have him. So this morning while we were working on an English assignment in the computer room, she softly (and o so innocently) told me that she have something to say to me. And when I asked what it was, she replied: “We are together now, me and the Freakin ape” (of course that’s not what she said, but lets call him that for now). Luckily my excellent angel disguise didn’t show any sign of how upset I were. She continued to talk, “did you know?”, “did you notice?”, or something like that. All I really heard was “bla bla bla” as I was trying so hard to keep the jealous bitch, that just wanted be let loose and yell “Why, why o why do you always do this to me, isn’t it the third time now?”. By this time you’re probable just thinking I’m an ass, because why don’t I want them to be together if I does not even like the Freakin ape? Well the answer to that you can choose yourself. Option 1 (the answer the angel disguise would have given you): “What do you mean? I’m just so happy that their together now, they make such a cute couple.” Option 2 (the answer the jealous bitch inside of me would have given you), well lets skip this answer for now and let me give you a bit of history that will (hopefully) justify the jealous bitch’s answer.

Once upon a time in a beautiful little town where the sun always shone and the birds always sang, two friends lived together in their lovely castle. Lets call them Me and Jane. Every day they played in the sun and sang with the birds and were as happy can be. One day Me, decided that this amazing friendship they had would only get better if Me introduce one of her other friends, lets call her “Currently irrelevant” to Jane. So Me introduced Currently irrelevant to Jane, and just as Me wanted it to be, Jane and Currently irrelevant became great friends, in fact, they became such good friends that they fell in love and moved in together in our Castle. (At this stage please note that both Currently irrelevant and Jane are girls). The days grew colder and the birds stopped singing and soon Me were not part of the friendship anymore. They excluded Me from everything and ignored Me as if Me were invisible. So Me made new friends in a far-off place where the sun shone again and the birds sang beautiful songs.

Several years later, Jane and currently irrelevant started hating each other, the castle they lived in became a terrible place and they both moved out. Poor Jane were traumatized and off cause Me were there to pick up the pieces. So the story continue…

Not so long ago in a beautiful little town where the sun always shone and the birds always sang, Me was happy and friends with Jane and also friends with the Freakin ape. So Me though it a good idea to introduce Jane and the Freakin ape to each other so that they all can be friends and sing in the lovely sun. But just as the previous time, Jane and the fucking ape excluded Me from the friendship. Suddenly Jane was not into girls anymore and Jane and the Freakin ape fell in love. They started ignoring Me and pretended that Me is a stupid fool, who would not notice that they were only using Me. So now, just as long ago in a far-off land, the days grew colder and the birds stopped singing and poor Me were left outside again.

Now for the answer the jealous bitch would have given you: “Jane is a selfish and pretentious bitch who thinks the sun shines out of her ass. O look at how lovely the sun is today. O no! That’s not the sun, Jane is just bending over”.

Anyway, now I’m depressed again, drinking too much beer with Currently irrelevant, which kind of make her Currently relevant, and hoping that some time I will be happy again.

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True that – life

Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard.
Coldplay – The Scientist

coldplay___the_scientist_by_madebymv-d56zqekImage credit: madebymv.deviantart.com
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Dear Boss

Don’t get me wrong. I understand being the boss is not easy. I understand that you have to make unpopular decisions and when you do that I respect you for it even if I don’t always agree. I would understand it if you reprimand me because you feel that I do not do my job properly (which would never happen, because I ALWAYS do my job and I’m proud of that).

However, there is one thing I would like you to know. Don’t make demeaning jokes and comments in an attempt to be liked. Your jokes are in bad taste, sometimes sexist, and makes me respect you less. If you feel that you need to connect with me on a more social level, ask about my family or my weekend plans. That would be sufficient.

PS. The staff don’t laugh at you jokes because it’s funny, they laugh because you are the boss.

Kind regard
An employee that really would like to respect her boss, but find it really hard to do so.

narcissism-and-preachingPicture credit: cainandenabler.files.wordpress.com

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The year I stopped trying so hard

This heading contradicts what I believe in and what I don’t believe in. Firstly the words “stop trying” might indicate that I see a problem with trying. I don’t. No one that ever succeeded did so by not trying. And the harder you try, the better the chances of success. Secondly the words “The year” might falsely indicate that I do new-years resolutions. I don’t. I firmly believe that if you want to change something, you don’t wait for a new year. You start now. If you are not willing to start now, you probable will never be.  So please allow me to explain myself.  Continue reading

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I am the master of freaken change

“Decide today to be a master of change rather than a victim of change”

-Brian Tracy-

fish escape conceptpicture credit: http://7geese.com/

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True that

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

-Theodore Roosevelt-

decide-ss

Image credit: venturebeat.com

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The difference between making choices and waiting for the next best thing.

I think that where I am at in my life is completely the result of not being able to make choices.

choices

I’m a teacher.

The reason I’m a teacher?
I sat behind a guy in the final class of my bachelors degree, who told me that if I didn’t know what to do next year, I could just go across the road, fill in a bursary application form for a post graduate certificate of education and have a big change to get another year of studying completely for free.
I did that, and now I am a teacher.

Continue reading

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