Someday I’m going to look back on this and laugh, but for now it’s really sad.

In my previous post I wrote about my “act”. That is what you do when you are going through a hard time. So I thought it good to share with you the reason why I’ve been going to my “act” so much lately. It might help me clear my mind, and hopefully you’ll enjoy reading the story.

So there’s this guy who has broken my heart three times in the last six months without even knowing it. The first time was by liking my housemate instead of me. The second time he did it by asking me to a wedding and then, before I could tell him that I would like to go with him (I didn’t let him know straight away, because there was some complications on whether I would be able to go with him or not), he sent me a message telling that he will be taking someone else to this wedding. The third time was when I heard that he is now dating this person that he was going to take to the wedding.

When I heard that he now has a girlfriend, I did something I really never do…stalk people on facebook. I just wanted to know how she looks and what is is that make her so special about. It wasn’t easy, because there’s a lot of people with the same names and surnames on facebook, but my hidden stalker talents saw the light when I realized that I should go through his list of friends to see which face belongs to her. I don’t know whether I should be proud of this or not.

Although I’m not someone who meddles in other peoples relationships, it wasn’t as easy as  just letting it go. I mean, he did ask me to the wedding so there must have been something. The amount of times I was angry at myself for waiting so long to let him know that I want to go to the wedding with him…

I truly believe that I won’t be regretting this forever, and that everything happens for a reason.

To be continued

About Die reis

So....I really believe that I’m not the only person feeling this way. Like Lucius Annaeus Seneca  put it: "If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable." And that's exactly my problem...I have no idea where I want to be. I’m content in the moment, but is constantly restless about the future. I have too much of a hunger for success and fulfillment to just leave it there, but never in my life have I had a clear picture of where I want to be. Therefore I want to make life about the journey. I want to appreciate life for what it is, and not let the small things pass me by without noticing them. For the "where do I want to be?"...maybe I will find out along the way.
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One Response to Someday I’m going to look back on this and laugh, but for now it’s really sad.

  1. Pingback: And I’m almost ready to laugh about this, but just not yet. | Die Reis

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