I’m not laughing yet, but I am smiling.

Lets finish the story and move on.

As we walked out along the isle, he moved into the line right in front of me. Either he didn’t see me, or he pretended not to see me. After we congratulated the bride we went to the reception hall for pre-drinks. I was aware of him at all time, trying to steal a glance of him and his girlfriend. I must sound pathetic, but I just wanted to see if they looked happy. Our table was situated just opposite to theirs, so I had a clear view of them. They really looked happy. They danced even though neither of them have rhythm.  I could see it was their first time dancing together. They got better.

This is a very accurate representation of how they looked while dancing.(Credit: awkwarddance.org)

I was really sad, but I remember thinking to myself that it was necessary for me to see them happy to be able to accept that we will not be together. And I would have left it at that, but then

…he almost snapped his neck to see with whom I’m dancing when a friend asked me to dance.

…he walk past my table, we made eye contact and he didn’t break it as he walked by. I was the first to look away.

This made it a little more difficult to accept circumstances and move on. It made me hold on to that little hope that was still left, but now, three weeks later I can  say that I’m really happy for him. It’s difficult to let go of something you’ve been holding on for so long, but I honestly believe that

(Credit: society6.com)


About Die reis

So....I really believe that I’m not the only person feeling this way. Like Lucius Annaeus Seneca  put it: "If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable." And that's exactly my problem...I have no idea where I want to be. I’m content in the moment, but is constantly restless about the future. I have too much of a hunger for success and fulfillment to just leave it there, but never in my life have I had a clear picture of where I want to be. Therefore I want to make life about the journey. I want to appreciate life for what it is, and not let the small things pass me by without noticing them. For the "where do I want to be?"...maybe I will find out along the way.
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One Response to I’m not laughing yet, but I am smiling.

  1. codedjeannie says:

    Thanks for following my blog.. This is a nice post! Keep it up.. 🙂

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