The difference between making choices and waiting for the next best thing.

I think that where I am at in my life is completely the result of not being able to make choices.


I’m a teacher.

The reason I’m a teacher?
I sat behind a guy in the final class of my bachelors degree, who told me that if I didn’t know what to do next year, I could just go across the road, fill in a bursary application form for a post graduate certificate of education and have a big change to get another year of studying completely for free.
I did that, and now I am a teacher.

Why did I sit in that class?
During my second last year of high school, I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do after school (big surprise?). I was previously interested in becoming a physiotherapist, and with some encouragement from certain family members I started to look into that. I didn’t choose physical sciences as an subject and therefore could not apply for studying physiotherapy. The next option was to apply to do a BSc (bachelors in science), complete the first year (that will act as a bridging course to substitute physical sciences) and then to apply for studying physiotherapy. Because I was never completely sure about physiotherapy as my career choice, and I enjoyed studying BSc, I decided not to apply (or probable more like: I didn’t decide to apply) for studies in Physiotherapy.
I completed my Bachelors in science in Biodiversity and ecology, and that’s why I sat in that class that day.

Why didn’t I choose physical science as a subject in high school?
In gr. 9 (at the age of 14), learners choose the subjects they will take for the rest of their high school career. I chose physical sciences. After three day (yes, literally after three days) I got permission to change to computer typing (and yes, that was an actual subject). I did that because I wanted to be in the same class as the rest of my friends (who did not take physical sciences) and my older sister told me that taking that subject had opened a lot of doors for her.
I did that, and that’s why I didn’t take physical sciences as a subject in high school.

I owe it to myself to wake up, and make a FUCKING choice for once in my life. (Please pardon my language).


About Die reis

So....I really believe that I’m not the only person feeling this way. Like Lucius Annaeus Seneca  put it: "If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable." And that's exactly my problem...I have no idea where I want to be. I’m content in the moment, but is constantly restless about the future. I have too much of a hunger for success and fulfillment to just leave it there, but never in my life have I had a clear picture of where I want to be. Therefore I want to make life about the journey. I want to appreciate life for what it is, and not let the small things pass me by without noticing them. For the "where do I want to be?"...maybe I will find out along the way.
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